Once I heard the concept for the book Eat, Pray, Love – and once I heard there was a movie coming out based on the book, I knew I should stay away. I knew if I read the book or saw the movie I would want to disappear from my life for a year to travel, just like Liz does. I did pretty well… I didn’t see the movie and I ignored the urge to pick up the book even though it was staring at me from the side table every time I went to my Mom’s house. I ignored it for months and months, and I was proud.
See, I’m kind of a flake. I have major difficulty deciding what I want to do with my life. In college, I went back and forth about what major I wanted to choose. As soon as I switched to something I thought was a better fit, I instantly went back to wanting to pursue the first one. I think it’s because I’m alright at many things, but not really amazing at any one thing. I always envied people who were amazing musicians, writers, artists, mechanics, speakers, and so on, because their choice was easy. They had real talent at something they were also passionate about. Not me. Like I said, I’m good at a lot, but not spectacular at anything. So that was my problem.
Even once I decided that Psychology was what I wanted to pursue, when it came time to apply for graduate school I went around and around with myself. Counseling? Personality psyc? Behavior genetics research? Teaching? AHHHHH!!! I eventually settled on counseling, since that is really what I have wanted to do since I was in junior high. But the past year the bug hit me again and I started to think about something else. Basically more school to get the job I had just been at for 3 years while I was in college. BUT, finally, I am settled on counseling. For now anyway… 🙂
The point is, I can never seem to make up my mind about anything without thinking about it forever. There have been so many times over the past few years that I wanted to just get away and forget about my life, even just for a weekend. I knew if I read/watched about a woman who left her life for a year, traveled around, had an amazing time and ended up finding herself, I would want to do it too.
Last night, as I was snowed in, I decided to take the plunge. Eat, Pray, Love was OnDemand, so I thought I’d just check it out. I had nothing better to do, and I’ve finally figured out my life, so what’s the harm, right? Wrong. Exactly what I was worried would happen, happened. I would love to take a year off and just travel. There are so many things I want to see and do… and I’m probably at the perfect age to do it. I could take a break from school, which would be much easier than leaving a job for a year, and set off to wherever I wanted to go.
Unfortunately, it’s not that easy. If I were rich and had the money, I would have a very hard time holding myself back. But luckily for all of my commitments, I don’t have the money to travel for a year. I’ll still keep that as one of my biggest goals, maybe not take off for a year, but at least a few months.
Except for me it would be Wonder, Laugh, Risk. I’d want to go somewhere that I can wonder and be amazed by something. Either the sights, the culture, or the people. I always feel in awe when I see mountains – so maybe that would do it for me. I’d also want to be somewhere that it feels like I’m constantly involved in an awesome party. I see that being somewhere that the people are amazingly upbeat and positive about everything. Somewhere that I can just let loose and have a great time. Finally, I’d want to go somewhere that I can be daring. I’m usually so calculated and never do anything risky or impulsive, so to spend time somewhere that I could would be amazing for me. Perhaps just jump from place to place going rock climbing, bungee jumping, sky diving, wind surfing, parasailing, etc. Do all the things I want to but I’m too afraid to actually do.
I’ll just keep dreaming as long as I’m stuck in one place for awhile. But I really hope this can be one of the big adventures of my life. Fingers crossed!