30/30 – Remember Me

Question 30: List 10 things you hope to be remembered for.

Last one – woohoo! Taking on these thirty questions has been eye-opening, challenging, annoying, and fun, for the most part. There were a few questions I wanted to skip, but I’m glad I forced myself to answer them. I think I learned a lot about myself through these past 30 posts. I am very happy to be done though.

So, here’s what I hope to be remembered for:

  • My sense of humor – I think I’m funny sometimes, and maybe other people do too? My life has been so ridiculous and out of control at times, that there was nothing to do but laugh. Thankfully I was able to do that instead of just becoming an anxiety ridden wreck.
  • Being a good friend – I hope there is at least one person out there who thinks I’ve been a good friend to them.
  • My brain – I hope to be remembered for my contribution to the academic world, and for my overall ability not to be a dumbass most of the time.
  • What I’ve done right, not my mistakes – I’ve made a lot of mistakes, done stupid things, made the wrong choice, but I’ve also done a lot right. I hope that after I’m gone people will only remember about the good things. Or if people do remember my mistakes, I hope they can at least get a good laugh out of them.
  • The difference I made – I can’t say that I’ve made a difference in anything yet, but I hope to lend my time and talents to make a difference to a cause, or to a person’s life….whatever that may be is yet to be determined.
  • The people I’ve helped through my professional life – Being in the field I’m in, and will continue to be in for the rest of my life, I have the potential to make a huge difference in the lives of those I work with. I hope that after I’m gone people will remember how I was able to help them when they needed it.
  • The book I write someday – This is maybe a silly goal, that most people don’t know about, but I want to write a book someday. I could never write fiction because I have no imagination, but I’d like to write something. Hopefully it will be good enough for people to remember me for it (in a good way).
  • My generosity – I like to give of myself to others, whether that is time, or my possessions.
  • My love of learning – Sometimes I feel like I’m never going to be done with school, because there are a million things I want to learn and do with my life. I hope that my persistence and constant pursuit of education is an example to the younger people in my life.
  • Being a good mom (or aunt, if I never have kids) – If I have kids, I want to be a good mom. I suppose everybody wants that when they have kids. If I never do, I want to be remembered as the “cool aunt” who my niece/nephews friends are jealous of. I’ll be the aunt who the kids do all the fun stuff with, the one with silly stories, and the one the kids actually want to spend time with.

 

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29/30 – Misunderstood

Question 29: What do you think people misunderstand most about you?

Now that I’ve grown up a bit, I’m a lot quieter than I used to be. Sometimes I don’t feel like talking, and sometimes I just feel like being alone. This does not have any reflection on who I’m around or what we might be doing. I spend all day, every day (besides weekends) talking to people and having to be extra nice about it. So when I’m off work, I sometimes just need to sit in my house, alone, and not have to talk to anyone. If I do end up around other people, there are days when I’m quiet and it might seem like something is wrong. Nothing is wrong, I’m just tired of talking.

When I’m quiet or don’t feel like going anywhere/seeing anyone, people have, and do, misunderstand and think I’m being distant, a bitch, a stick-in-the-mud, or whatever. I’m NOT! Trust me.

28/30 – love language

Question 28: What is your love language?

Luckily Marisa did this one before I got to it, because I had no clue what this was even talking about. I found out the love languages are from a book, and there are five possibilities. The five love languages are: words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. I could have guessed what mine would be, but I took the quiz anyway. If you’re interested in finding out your own love language, you can find that here.

My top two results were pretty close, and I think they were pretty accurate.  My top two were acts of service and quality time. Here are the descriptions from the website:

Acts of Service: Can helping with homework really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most wants to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.

Quality Time: In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.

I can definitely agree with these. I really don’t care about receiving tangible gifts from others, and I’m usually not a huge touchy feely person, so I didn’t expect those to show high results for me. I can definitely see that acts of service would be my #1, because I appreciate when someone helps me, or wants to help me. I’ve been in situations where I’m doing everything, whether that is in a relationship, in a home, work, school, basically anything, and it’s difficult. Even something as simple as doing the dishes, or offering to help with whatever I’m doing goes a long way for me.

I also wasn’t surprised that quality time was my second highest love language. I don’t necessarily think it needs to be 100% focused attention with no tv, no eating, no distractions, cause I think that would make me uncomfortable to have that much undivided attention. But I do think it’s important for me to spend time with the people I love and care about.

27/30 – Favorite part

Question 27: What is your favorite part of your body and why?

My favorite part of my body is my eyes. As I’ve grown up, they’ve turned from almost completely brown to more hazel. They have brown, green, and specks of gold in them. I especially like the way they look when the sun shines in them, because they look super green. 🙂

26/30 – Popular Belief

Question 26: What popular notion do you think the world has the most wrong?

I wish that this were not actually a “popular” notion, but I suppose it can be classified as that. The idea I think the world has the most wrong is that allowing same-sex marriage would destroy the sanctity of marriage. Over half of all marriages between straight people fail anyway, so I hardly think that allowing gay men and lesbians to get married is going to destroy marriage. There is absolutely no reputable research that suggests children raised with same-sex parents will be worse off than those with opposite sex parents, nor any evidence that children who have gay parents are more likely to be gay themselves. These are hurtful myths that do nothing but perpetuate the prejudice against same-sex couples when it comes to having a family. I think it’s ridiculous that the government is still able to tell people who is allowed to get married and who isn’t. Inter-racial marriages used to be illegal too, but somewhere down the line that was deemed “acceptable.” What really bothers me about this notion is that it is a religious issue, not a human rights issue. If gay marriage was looked at from a human rights standpoint, of course it would be allowed. All humans have rights, and those rights should be equal whether you are straight, gay, black, white, poor, or rich. BUT, because of religious viewpoints, the discrimination and prejudice still exists. This doesn’t make any sense to me, because we have supposedly decided as a country that the church and state should be separate, but religion still plays a major role in political stances on gay marriage, and abortion for that matter. (Which is a whole other issue). If either of these big ticket issues were classified as human rights issues, there would be no debate. I know progress is being made, and some laws are changing, but it’s still frustrating to think that there is still so far to go.

Here’s a nice graphic that helps explain what would happen if same-sex marriage was legalized.

25/30 – Dinner date

Question 25: If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?

This question is a little difficult for me, because I don’t really get star struck or have a favorite obvious celebrity that I think would actually be interesting to talk to. Yes, it would be fun to sit and look at Ryan Gosling for a couple hours, but I don’t know that we’d have a very meaningful conversation. I guess if I had to choose, I’d say either Nelson Mandela or Ellen Degeneres. Nelson Mandela for all of the amazing things he has done, and because I am really intrigued by everything that has gone on in South African history. Ever since reading “Kafir Boy” in middle/high school, I’ve been interested in the country and would love the chance to ask questions of, and learn from, Nelson Mandela.

On the other end of the spectrum, my other choice would be Ellen Degeneres. If you’ve never watched her show, she seems like a hilarious person. I think I could spend half of the dinner just laughing. Other than that, she is a kind, generous, and intelligent women who I think I could learn a lot from. She’s a fighter for equality and gives so much of herself to others, and I really respect that.

I think if I had the chance to meet either of these two, I wouldn’t really care what we ate.

24/30 – Family Dynamic: Past & Present

Question 24: Describe your family dynamic of your childhood vs. your family dynamic now. 

My family dynamic is pretty similar now to what it was when I was younger, except that I think we all get along better now that we’re older. Growing up, I think we all had attitude. My siblings and I got along for the most part, but there were definitely times when we didn’t. When my siblings and I were younger, my family did a lot more stuff together. Even though my parents were divorced, we still took trips together and spend holidays with everyone together. Once we were out of school, there was less of a need for big family activities. Now, we’re starting to do holidays together again, because it just turned into a big hassle to do Christmas in three different places.

For me specifically, I think I have a better relationship with my family than I did when I was younger. I was a snotty teenager and couldn’t wait to get out of the house and on my own. Doing that really seemed to make a difference. If someone would have told me six years ago I’d be back living at home, I would have thought there was no way that would happen. It’s still rough sometimes, but definitely not as bad as it would have been if I came home shortly after going to college.