Downer Thursday

Yesterday was a weird day. I had a headache almost all day but was out of Tylenol – something in and of itself that usually never happens to me. I always have a good supply on hand because I get headaches ALL THE TIME. So I was stuck suffering through, and even when I did get pills, it didn’t help. So I was pretty cranky all afternoon because of that and other little miscellaneous annoyances.

When I got home, all I wanted to do was go for a run, because I knew it would help my head and my mood. As soon as I started out, I realized that it wasn’t going to go well. I had been wearing heels all day and my legs were dead. They felt the same way they would if I ran 5 miles of hills, just from wearing heels for 10 hours. Lesson learned. Since my run included hills, I could only tolerate it for about 2 1/2 miles and then had to walk the rest of the way home.

The day was also included a few conversations that I didn’t really want to have. Conversations that confuse me and make me question what I thought I knew. Conversations that just flat out annoyed me. And conversations that really made me sit and think. This morning I woke up just mentally and physically exhausted, and because of it have been really cranky all day again. I got told 3 times this morning that I looked really sad. It’s one of those days.

As per usual, whenever I’m in a weird mood, my iTunes knows just what to do. Today it seemed to be rocking the depressing playlist and did absolutely nothing to boost my mood, but they are a few of my favorite songs, so I’m ok with it. I don’t want everyone to become Debbie Downers, but the songs are too good not to post. Here’s what my morning playlist included:

ramblings on school and education

If you’ve been reading this blog, or actually know anything about me, you know I started back in on my Master’s Degree last week. The first week of school was really stressful and got me dragging a little bit. One of my classes is a dual undergrad/grad class, so each week I will be blessed with sitting through a class with about 40 undergrads, with only 6 grads. Not to sound like a grouchy old lady, (not too much anyway) but undergrads are so annoying. They talk while the professor is trying to speak, they take nothing seriously, doing show up prepared, and are just generally immature. Add to that the fact that this class meets at night, when they would probably all rather be at the bar. It’s going to be awesome! So looking forward to dealing with that all year. 

In my other class this semester, we were told on the first day that we would need to spend three hours every other week in a school, meeting with a counselor. I was completely blind-sided by this, because it’s a new revision to the course syllabus, and something that I didn’t experience in the previous two and a half years I was in this program. The purpose of the program is supposed to be for adults who work, which is why all of our classes are at night or on the weekends. I obviously expected to be in the schools for practicum and internship, or for a random assignment here or there, but not for an entire semester. I managed to work it out so I can actually do it in the town I live, so I cut out 2 hours of driving, but I’ll still be missing work. Which is unfortunate since I have to pay tuition out of pocket. Add in some drama on the weekend and I had a fantastic week (sarcasm). 

What the week did do for me, however, was get me thinking a lot about education, my future, and the wonderful teachers I know – both those in my family and ones I’ve had myself. Last night I was doing some reading for class and came across the following quote: 

Because of deteriorating situations in homes, schools have become childrearing institutions, one of the few places in their lives where many children find predictability, safety support and food. Schools are one of the few places that allow children to escape violence in the home and in the community, the increasing lawlessness of gangs and cults, physical or psychological neglect in their home, a lack of family presence and support as they return home from school to empty apartments and houses, or to homes where chemical dependency robs parents of their ability to be responsible for the children. 

It really struck me, because for some kids school is an escape, and the only place where they can receive some consistency and safety. This plays a huge role in why I want to work in the schools. Even if I only reach one student and can make them see that they matter and have potential, then it’s worth it to me. This past year I worked with a small group of middle school girls, and those 45 minutes each week were some of my favorite. Sometimes we just talked about silly things or did art projects, but at the end of it all, they told me I was someone they knew they could count on, and that’s really the only thing that matters. 

I can’t wait to finish this final portion of my education and finally be able to contribute to the education of others.