I’ve been struggling lately. I’ve been really stressed out and my mind always seems to be running at a million miles per hour. Basically ever since I moved here, I’ve wanted to find a church here that I feel comfortable in, and so far I’ve attended one a couple times. I’m hoping that my insides will settle down a little bit if I can start to feel more settled. We’ll see. Last week, I was having a rough night and as I was praying I asked God for a sign. Just a sign or a hint as to what I should do to help myself feel better. As soon as I finished, like literally less than 10 seconds after I said “amen” my phone vibrated that I got a message on Facebook . It was just one of those forwards, but this is how it started, “Dear God, the sweet girl reading this is kind and I’m proud of her. Please help her live life to the fullest and bless her in her chosen field…” Whoa. A reminder of the wonderful people I have in my life who care about me and I can turn to when I’m struggling.
A few days later, I truly believe I got my sign. In the form of a literal sign. God is funny that way. Despite this, I’m still scared and can’t stop running through a million scenarios in my head. PLUS, then that makes me feel horrible. I ask God for a sign, I’m given it, and then I’m too scared to acknowledge it. Eeesh. But then I came home and experienced several other things that could also be interpreted as signs, but that would lead me in the complete opposite direction, with no further glimpses of that first original slap in the face. So long story short, I continue to be confused, unsure, and stressed.
My semester ends tomorrow, so I’m hoping that will help some. Otherwise I’m considering just holing up in my house and sleeping all day with the kitties.